Looking back, my addictive personality started shining through at a very young age. Mix that with harsh insecurities, and it makes for a complete disaster. I remember my father picking me up from IU13 (where I went to high school due to behavior) because my teacher called him stating I was showing many signs of being under the influence of heroin.
I was furious! HEROIN?! I would NEVER do that! Little did he know, I had snorted pain medication before school that morning. At that time, I genuinely had no idea how similar those two were. Recreational opiate use quickly turned into an addiction, which also very quickly turned into IV heroin use. I would have sold my soul to the devil for a bag of heroin at one point of my life.
I never thought the life I chose to live would end.
I never thought the life I chose to live would end, no matter how hard I tried. After many failed attempts at many different rehabs, I decided to try MAT. Even though there was so much stigma towards it, I was willing to try anything. After a few weeks of being on MAT, I would stop using heroin and opiates. After some more time, I would eventually want to live a life free from all substances, and alcohol.
Ready to live a sober life
Through the support of my family, my probation officer and IOP, I was finally ready to live a sober life. To this day, I still feel as if I gain something every day that do not drink or drug. I get to be an outstanding mother, wife and friend. I am privileged enough to work in the drug and alcohol field where I get to give back daily and help others who are struggling just like I once was. I am grateful for the life I now live. Every morning when I wake up, I look at my daughter and husband, and I just thank god. I now enjoy the simple things in life, and am okay with who I am. I am forever grateful to feel free again. Everybody deserves to wake up in the morning and feel free.